By Two Legs Good

Ahhhh, Living TV... the most ironically-named television channel ever, given that huge chunks of it are given over to supposedly contacting the dead.

(And no, we're not being sarcastic about the audience here - they're not technically dead given that they're still breathing and grazing.)

No, Ouija TV - sorry, Living TV - relies on the unquiet dead to fill their schedules and attract the dead-from-the-neck-up. Have a look at just some of their programmes:

* Living With The Dead
* Most Haunted
* Most Haunted Live
* Ghost Hunters
* Ghost Hunters International
* Ghost Whisperer
* 6ixth Sense with Colin Fry
* The Psychic Detective
* John Edward: Cross Country
* Paranormal State
* Haunting Evidence

There's a bit of a trend going on there, we're sure you'll agree. There is another trend that perhaps you might notice with Living TV though:

* What Jade Did Next
* Jade's Salon
* Just Jade
* Jade's PA
* Living with Jade Goody
* Jade
* Jade's Cancer Battle

The Blog With Two Legs would like to go on record here and now - we think we have the ultimate programme for Living TV, merging what seems to be their two favourite themes, and we welcome their contact to open negotiations over the rights to:


Perhaps we could start with a seance in Jade's (Haunted) Mansion... well let's face it, she can't exactly do a comeback tour or anything, and Jack Tweedy won't be around for the next few weeks either.

This has got 'WINNER' written all over it!
(Michael Winner, that is - Ken Russell wouldn't touch her with someone else's bargepole.)

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