By Two Legs Good

Glasgow Rangers' full-back Kirk Broadfoot is in the news after being injured... by a poached egg!

The hard-man defender was apparently caught by surprise when a Deadly Ninja Assassin Egg, probably laid by a cunning Glasgow Celtic-supporting evil mastermind chicken, spat some hot water on his cheek.

After several minutes writhing in agony Broadfoot realised that there was no referee to award him a free kick or book the egg. With no medic to run on and give him a wee rub and a drink from the magic water-bottle, Kirk showed what a man he was and dealt with the crisis by phoning his Mummy.

Despite the no doubt horrific nature of his injuries Broadfoot left the hospital that day, and is expected to make a full physical recovery. But who knows the extent of the psychological scarring left by this incident?

How will he deal with opposing strikers when they try to poach a goal? Will he crack under the strain? Will his insurers shell out for the damage caused? Or will he throw off this psychological yolk of oppression? Whatever happens, he's likely to ovoid eggs for a while!

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