A NICE BIT OF STONE-CLADDING ©™ - Part 6

By Two Legs Good

Yes, it's another Sunny Soaraway Stone-Cladding Sunday!


Take a look at this smile:


Now, it's not perfect, but it's by no means unpleasant. Sure, there's a little natural discolouration, some tiny imperfections, but generally speaking it's perfectly acceptable; clean, healthy and natural.

So if that were your smile, you wouldn't do this to it, would you?


That single, over-whitened tooth now stands out like a sore thumb, doesn't it? In context, it looks completely unnatural, bizarre and fake.

No one in their right mind would willingly do that, would they?


Would they?


Or... would they?


It seems that yes - they would...


As if that weren't bad enough though, assaulting the senses with the architectural equivalent of cheap Hollywood veneers, it's been compounded by laziness or stupidity. We're not sure which option is worse. What did they think?

"No, no - we only need to do the front wall of the house. When people look at the house they only look at it from the front, don't they?"

Yes, that's right - and if you want to hide from Mummy and Daddy, put your hands over your eyes so you can't see them, then they won't see you either...

If you're the owner and you're reading this, just to make it clear for you, we know the 'stonework' is fake. There's a few clues we spotted:

The first clue is that your house is part of a terrace and NO OTHER HOUSE has a 'stone' finish!

The second clue - and frankly, it's a gigantic freakin' unmissable clue - is that YOUR HOUSE IS THE END OF TERRACE HOUSE! WE CAN SEE THE SIDE OF YOUR HOUSE WHERE YOU DIDN'T BOTHER CLADDING IT!


It's just all so... Croydon.

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