A NICE BIT OF STONE-CLADDING ©™ - Part 9

By Two Legs Good

Yes, it's another Sunny Soaraway Stone-Cladding Sunday!


We've come to the conclusion that they can't help it.

People are strange, and no matter how they try to hide their strangeness from the rest of us, out it will pop like an electric weasel from their top pocket waving a big flag that says "WEIRD!".

Take, for example, Donald Trump's comb-over.

Now, YOU know he's baldy, WE know he's baldy, and let's face it, HE knows he's baldy. So why does he persist with such a preposterous comb-over?

Trump with anonymous brown nose.

There's hair going in all directions there, and none of them normal, like the sideburns being swept back around his ear to cover his neck. It's not just a comb-over in one direction, either - this is truly leading-edge comb-overy, with hair from the left swept across the head allied with hair from the back combed forward over it to form a bizarre weave at the front. It's only a matter of time before he starts cultivating his eyebrows and then his nose and ear hairs into the weave.

The saddest part of it is that he's fooling nobody, not even himself.

So what, we hear you ask, does this have to do with stone-cladding? After all, it's not like stone-cladders go out of their way to hide it; usually it sticks out like some gigantic pus-filled thumb.

Well, today's example is a bit more subtle. Restrained. Discrete, almost.


But, as we said at the start, people are strange, and people who stone-clad are stranger than most. They can't help it. And, as we said, no matter how they try to hide it - in this case with a pretty decent coat of paint - out it pops.

Now you might have thought that what alerted us to such camoflaged cladding was the fact that despite the rest of the street having darkish brown brick, here was a house that draws attention to itself with a bright creamy paint job. And yes, as we approached that certainly did catch the eye.

But what really made us look twice, what really gave the game away, was the shower-door.

Most people fit their shower-doors next to the shower itself. Not this lot, though - no, they can't resist giving that little signal that spells "WEIRD!" to the rest of us, that tip-off that they're not at home to Mr Normal, in the form of fitting their shower-door externally, nowhere near their shower.

An external shower-door that leads to an alley-way between houses. Obvious when you think of it, isn't it?

Despite their trying to make it blend in, it all draws the eye inevitably to what we now think of as the architectural equivalent of a comb-over, the stone-cladding.

And as with Trump, they're fooling nobody.



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